It was one of my worse days yesterday. I am staying with my aunt now. My thoughts remain the same, I am just safe. I met with my nurse today and she really was concerned. She told me she had to make sure I was safe and if I didn't want to go to the hospital I had to stay with my aunt. Fair enough.
I wish I could be normal. My nurse tells me I can beat this and that things will get better. I just need to tell myself that. She went through her own separation and she herself takes a little anti depressant. She thinks I've been depressed for a long time. I'm supposed to tell myself that things will get better. It's so hard to convince myself that I have more to live for.
My son was always enough, but not anymore. My nurse mentioned that I could end up with brain damage and I don't want that. I know that for a fact, what would be the point then. My son needs me to beat this.
I also have some very supportive friends and family, and thank you to those that were there for me at my highest low. Without you guys I would not have made it through this. I still wish that my thoughts would be balanced and not clouded daily with depressing thoughts.
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