Meeting with Psychiatrist

I met with my psychiatrist and nurse yet again today. My aunt came with me this time. My nurse said it seemed that now my aunt and uncle had a better idea of how bad my depression really was after me being with them for a while. My aunt was in tears, she seems to really want me to get better. My grandmother also called in tears, I just hate the heartache and pain I am causing my family. I couldn't keep it inside any longer though.

My psychiatrist prescribed me a heavier dose of medication and gave me a couple of sleeping pills. This should help give me get a good night's sleep for once, as I haven't had one in ages. I am up so many times a night.

I called Leigh's father and informed him that I would be going into the hospital for a few days for a medication adjustment. He agreed to take him for a few days. Later he called and asked how long I would be going in there for. He said that since Leigh started daycare he was going through seperation and said that he said "I want to go drive and see mommy." I explained to him that this was normal and children go through that and that he would be happy with him for a few days.

I'm going to miss Leigh but as usual, I am willing to try to get better for my son. I am supposed to make a list of all of the things that I find stressful and overwhelming in my life for my psychiatrist tomorrow.

I still have to meet with the social worker tomorrow to see if she can get full time daycare for Leigh. Then I have another meeting with my psychiatrist.

I am scared to go in the hospital again because it is a scary place, but I am also relieved to know that I might be able to get the help that I desperately need.

Somehow I don't think that a hospital stay is going to alleviate my problems or help me be able to better take care of Leigh. We will have to see.